missing jerry, phase 2 of 5k training and such...

i really miss jerry....i cannot believe it was 15 years ago today he left us....i will never forget where i was or how i heard, it was horrible and all alone, no one understood....i was laughed at, people thought i was some sort of cult member...

it still hurts as much today as it did 15 years ago

i spent late last night updating the dead www.PhantasyTour.com summer tour list and thought of jerry almost my whole running/walking training today.

i make sure to document what music i listen to during my workouts and today i listened to closing of the winterland disc 2....the only thing that kept me from crying was the distraction that moving to the 90 sec jog/2min run in 90+ degree weather is hard for my fat ass...i keep thinking i am doing this first for me and second for the www.RexFoundation.org....i haven't told my family or asked if they will help yet, i think if i do it a few more weeks, to show my commitment, they will be there to sponsor my run and support me...

below is my training blog

i took yesterday off...felt good to rest...i didn't even go for a long walk, just relaxed...

today i went out and upp to phase 2 of the couch to 5k.
this meant my usual warm up walk which was 8.21, then 90 sec jogging/2min walking which i did for just over 21 mins for a total of 1.3 miles!

then i had a nice cool down walk for .6 miles at just over 13 mins...i tried to walk around in the shade because i did not realize going out there that it was about 90 degrees!

humidity not too bad, but wow, upping that program just 30 secs per jog and that heat, i had sweat coming from the creases of my elbows! never in my life have i ever had that happen!

i also pulled out an older sports bra i forgot i had and used that for my run and it really made a difference.
i have never had big girls when working out before, so this is new to me...i was practicing yoga 3 times a week, but it is easy to work around them there...they are not ginormous, but 36-38DD and can get in the way when jogging, so ii have been trying dif bras i have here and a few of my older ones from when i was smaller are working out great...the more recent ones, not so much because i have been losing weight, so while they work for day to day stuff, this jogging, well, not so much!
never thought i would post a blog about that!

as for this blog...i don't know if anyone reads it and that is fine with me either way, this is for me and my records of what i am doing...though a little support is nice too!!!

i am just trying to say that all i put here is to keep track of what i am doing for my sake so maybe if i need to change it, or see a change in my attitude about it, it will all be there, no denying it! i will have to own up to my results! which is fabulous in my opinion

also, i am truly liking the hand writing out my daily results into that $2 desk calendar i bought at barnes & noble last week! i have already seen an improvement in my distance and there is just something about putting it down on paper that is so very satisfying as well as logging them here!

oh well, i think i have finally stopped sweating and cooled down completely now, so off for the shower!

oh one questions (if anyone has actually read this far, if at all!!) is it better to eat before or after exercising? if so how long before or after?
or if eating before is there a certain type of food that is best? or after?

I don't drink gatorade or any of those artifically filled items, so if there is a natural alternative i would love to know....
is smart water a better alternative?

thanks if anyone has any answers for me!

first week completed and such...

i went out tonight and did a nice warm up walk for about 9 mins, 60 sec jog/90 sec walk in just over 21 mins, then cool down walk of 8 mins for a half mile, so cleared 2 miles easily in about 40 mins!

i was going to take today off, but i was really feeling good today and that inspiration is really carrying me...

tomorrow i may take the day off and just walk a few miles, but who knows...as good as i am feeling now, not perfect, just pushing it enough, but not too much to hurt myself....i can maintain reality and not get ahead of myself!

i said that of today, that i would just take a long walk, but when i walked outside at 9pm, i knew i was not going to just walk!

so, by doing this, i technically have completed week one of the training from couch to 5k!

i spent the first part of the week easing into the idea of this program, a long walk on the 2nd (monday), then a .4 mile brisk walk and 1/10 mile jog 3x on tuesday, then a day off and thursday, i kicked in the program

this is good since it will allow me to begin pacing the couch to 5k nicely for the next 6 weeks and not try to force it or overdue it just to make the goal on the date!

i have to say that last 1/2 of that last jog, i was tired, legs felt heavy, but much better than tuesday, or even yesterday!

i am going to compose an email to my family about what i am doing and one to rex foundation as well...they have been very sweet since i have raised/donated $161 to them so far this year and would love to let them know i am going to work to get them more while getting myself healthy!

off to shower and eat some locally grown cantaloupe!!!

week one, almost done and such...

i went to breakfast with dad and juju and came across another local 5k sign up sheet for october 3rd, the skylander!

this is great because my goal is to do the sept 18th one, but this will give me a chance to see how i can improve for the second one just a hair over two weeks later...

i am very excited by this!

i went to barnes and noble today to buy juju a few books for reading while we are in vt and came across a lovely mthly desk calendar for $2 and bought it to keep handwritten notes on exercise and to have my days counted out for each 5k from first day of training.

now being able to have that tangible book in front of me and not a computer that is shut off will help to keep me going!

my couch to 5k will be 7 weeks total and i cannot wait

i am considering getting some of my family to get behind me and maybe see if they would be willing to donate a small sum to a charity i love (rex foundation) to keep me going!

maybe if they gave a few dollars if i complete I will be that much more inspired, but my drive to get healthy and in shape is really fueling my fire!

yesterday i almost wanted to keep going, but i know i need to be careful and not over do it and run the risk of hurting too much then giving myself an excuse....

no excuses, sept 18th and i have a date and my slightly smaller behind will cross that finish line with the intent of jogging the entire way!!

going to try and run a 5k and get healthy and such...

so i am fat and way out of shape, but recently saw someone on twitter say how they ran a 5k....

my daughter has been going a camp where they have a huge sign saying a 5k is coming sept 18th

i googled around a bit and found a training program to get my lazy and fat behind to do a 5k in 9 weeks...only the 5k is seven

i can do this

instead of doing the 3 times a week for nine weeks, i am going to step it up and only give myself a day off between each part of the program

i started monday, i walked about a mile
tuesday i walked 1/3 mile and jogged 1/10 mile
took wed off
thursday i began the program, i did 9 min brisk walk warmup, then 22 mins at 60 secs jogging/90 secs walking
today (friday) i felt a bit sore, but totally inspired (I was once an actual athlete, i rode horses and skied both at very high levels with olympic aspirations, but due to inujries, had to give both up and became very depressed) so i repeated yesterdays work out


i spent many years hiking and still being healthy (i am 36 now and injuries took me out of the running at 17) i skied, biked, snowboarded and so on...

just over ten years ago i became pregnant and had my daughter, but my body went through the insane change and i actually felt lazy, like working out or whatever exhausted me so fast and even though i ate pretty healthy, once i stopped breast feeding, i could eat a grape ad gain weight

i am putting a stop to it now
i lost about 25 pounds over the past year from eating healthier, but slowly they have been creeping back on, so now I am determined to get healthy...

i quit smoking about 5 months back, stopped drinking alocohol (ok i had two at the pool the other day, but that is two drinks in the past 2 months) and just making healthier choices and portion control

i don't deny myself anything at this point, just am very careful when i do indulge to keep it small and WORTH it (a small piece of a good chocolate does so much more for me than a hershey bar ever could!)

so either tomorrow or sunday i will complete the 3rd part of this weeks workout and then it is on to next weeks (but as i said I am going to accelerate it a bit, not a ton but enough to help me get through it safe and on time for the sept 18th 5k)

phase 2 will be 90 secs jogging/120 secs walking x3

i am actually enjoying this so far and look forward to it and this logyourrun program on my iphone is so much better than the one i used to start this with...it is helping to inspire me too because it is much more accurate which made me realize what i did today is much better than the exact same workout yesterday on a much more sloppy and less accurate app!!!

so i know...

i know, i know...so much time has passed and so much has gone on....

i am seeing an old boyfriend from dead tour many years ago, 16 to be exact.

we are happy except that he lives in detroit area and i nw nj area. we see each other often and whatever, but not often enough...

i managed to se 13 dead shows last year and 4 of the 5 furthur east coast run.

i work for a horrific man and just "celebrated" my 1 yr annv here...he still has not given me the dollar an hour raise after i am trained AND a few weeks ago called me a sissy bitch and to get a spine...awesome, i know...

nothing has progressed on the pigpen book, i have just not had time, what with my crap job for crap pay and nothing else going on in this economy....i am barely making over unemployment at this point....

but not to let me suffer and be all totally sad, pappy (the bf from 16 years ago, i will refer to him by one of his numerous tour nicknames), is taking me to a show at the taj the night before my birthday...at least i have that and him for a few days around it...

saw a handful of phish shows the summer adn fall tours...that was nice...forgot how much fun they are live and glad i missed all the crap since i got out in 2000...would have hated to see them self destruct haivng a history with them going back to 87 when i was 13...yeah so headdy i know...

anyway, i have to go, i am at said crappy job and sadly neglected my duties as a handmade crafter and feel like i am losing my soul to everything i am not lately, so i will try to post more and also try to make time for things i love, and a little blogging too

forward for the pigpen book and such...

As long as I can remember, my father had our garage filled with posters from all over the world, record of his travels and adventures all over the globe. There was one poster that always seemed to capture my attention.

It was brightly colored with neons and a large, gruff figure in the middle wearing a San Francisco Fire Department hat. I knew this man was no firefighter what with his large toothed necklace, long hair and big mustache. Something about him always appealed to me and I could never figure out just what it was.

Years later I would listen to the radio with my mom in the car and sing along, the Beatles, Momma’s and the Poppa’s, Bob Dylan, and the Grateful Dead. I would sift through my mother’s albums, especially loving the Beatles Yellow Submarine and Sgt. Pepper’s fold out covers with their bright images and colorful characters.

When I was about 11 years old “Santa” gave me a gift in my Christmas stocking that stuck with me for the rest of my life, a handful of cassettes to go with my new boombox he had also given me. The Beastie Boys Licensed to Ill, Bob Marley Legend, the Beatles Abbey Road, and the Grateful Dead American Beauty. It was love at first listen. My own little library of influential music, and boy did it influence me.

I loved that music and still do to this day, but there was just something about the Grateful Dead that stuck to my soul. I loved the Grateful Dead music so much so that I hopped on tour for 5 years.

During that time, I was not close with my parents and it was not until years later when I was home one day talking with my father about how I got into the Dead that I explained to him the story behind that poster he had. How I had found out that it was Pigpen from the Grateful Dead and how he always had this mysterious aura to me. He has no idea how he even had gotten the poster anymore. The poster was a silk-screened one, made in San Francisco in 1967. it had a typo that was silk-screened over and declared Pigpen to be the “Psychedelic Child”.

My father was never a fan of the Dead. He was a Jefferson Airplane and Doors kind of guy (no need to try and explain the Jerry/Surrealistic Pillow, I know, and he could not care less, it was the music of the Dead he did not get) who refused to go to Woodstock because Jim Morrison was banned from it.

I tried to explain to my dad how Pigpen was not a “druggie” as he assumed. I had to explain how the poster was so ironic because Pigpen really did not care of LSD or mushrooms, or really many drugs, but liked his in a bottle, Southern Comfort and the like was much more his style. For Pigpen do be the “Psychedelic Child” was like saying his beloved Jim Morrison was the poster boy for celibacy and sobriety!

It was during this interesting discussion years ago that I realized as much as I love to read about the things I love, music, nature, historical figures, so much has been written about Jerry Garcia and the Grateful Dead before and after his passing, that Pigpen really has no historical record amongst those volumes of books.

Sure, he is covered in the early goings on, I mean he is Pigpen after all, but nothing was for Pigpen, who in his short life of 27 years, contributed so much to the Dead. His contributions still influence their music to this day as they prepare for their 2009 Spring Tour as The Dead.

This book is to bring him back to life, if only for a little while, to see who he was, what brought about his and Jerry Garcia’s meeting and give Pigpen more then just a few chapters and archival music. This is for Pigpen…..

PIGPEN WAS
AND IS NOW FOREVER
ONE OF THE
GRATEFUL DEAD

sugar detox and such...

i am participating in a sugar detox....it is for 7 days and today is mid way through day 6!
tomorrow is the last full day...thought i am going ot keep going, just not as hard!

the group i am doing it with is controlled some what....we have a conference call before during and the monday after. we also have an online forum for us to chat, share recipes and what else has been going on with us!


i just wanted to share what has been going on with me so far.

i really was nervous and scared as to what to expect out of this little project.

i bought a bunch of food and almost got overwhelmed trying to prepare items i never had, long grain brown rice form scratch, quinoa, and much more....

i cooked the rice and quinoa and made big batches so i could simply reheat them this week.
everyday i prepare a breakfast, lunch (leftovers fromt he dinner) and dinner every night.

they are not huge fancy meals and i am terribly picky.
i went and purchased frozen organic veggies and a bag of stirfry veggies with nothing added.
we have had stir fry twice, once with lean pork loin and the second with chicken (the prepared stirfry veggies have the tiny corn, edamame beans, snow peas, carrots, broccolli, water chestnuts and mushrooms. i add extra water chestnuts and bamboo shoots)

i have one to two smoothies a day, though not huge ones...

also i nibble on grapes at work and after dinner grapes and almonds...

today i bought cashews and more almonds and more grapes.

i like the finger foods, i like being able to nibble...that is my one habit i love and having shredded coconut, nuts and seeds and grapes, makes my life easy

i am totally surprised by what i have been eating for breakfast, usually a half smoothy and an italian sausage patty on two slices of ezekial bread, though it is a bit much, so i eat half one day, half the other...

the other morning i was really hungry so i had an egg scrambled with a bit of seasoning and nothing else in it, hash browns which are just shredded potato cooked with a little butter till browned in a pan and a smoothie and WOW was it great and filling!

tonight i am making the slow cooker sweet potato and black bean soup/stew, i will make some brown rice to go along with it and my daughter thinks it smells yummy too! I added some sliced organic carrots, and since i had no cumin some other spices!

i find i shop more for fresh ingredients and what i need. i don't buy and keep stuff in the house like i used to, which is great..there is tons of junk here, but i don't touch it!
i really have no desire to!!!

today, my daughter had a ham and cheese with lettuce on potato bread (she loves that and brings it to school everyday and i had a slice of ezekial bread with garlic organic hummus on one side and lemon hummus on the other cut in half with organic romain in the middle! some cashews and a cocoa banana smoothy (unsweetened COCOA almond milk, half nana, shredded coconut, ice and coconut milk! so yummy)

i drink water, but today i found a bottle of unsweetened tea i will try with dinner

i honestly thought i was going to cheat. the worse thing i have done so far is tuesday and wed after breakfast i had a piece of sugarfree (but still had the fake stuff) gum.
i started a new job (9-2 m-f) on tuesday, so since i was going to be so close to folks learning their system in the office, i justified the two pieces of gum!

at work after lunch i nibble on some grapes or almonds

i have not had time to work out, but the eating healthy has given me so much energy....
this week i plan on adding some wii fit into my life that i can do with my daughter after her homework is done

i am totally surprised at how much i am enjoying this. my first day at work was hard because they bought pizza and i wanted a piece so badly, but i was good and ate my left over shepards pie sans potato (seasoned ground beef, carrots and corn served over brown rice)

i do have to say monday and tuesday really and truly felt like a detox day...i had a really bad headache, i was in so much pain, i felt awful...

since then i have felt great, i wake up refreshed, i am actually going to sleep at a decent time (between 10:30-12) when i used to have awful insomnia and go to sleep between 1-3am.

i have to get up with my daughter at 7am and before it was so hard....now i wake up refreshed!

i really do feel so much better.

i read labels now...and boy do i read them close! there is so much cane sugar, fructose and so on in everything!

i have not tried to eliminate sugar from my daughters diet, but i have reduced it.

i am sorry, this is huge and rambeling but i am just so happy to have made these changes in my life....

i don't really miss the chocolate or candy, but i do really want a glass or two of wine from time to time!

i really want to try and keep this going for a while..i plan on trying to keep up with it as much as i can for as long as i can...maybe allow myself some treats, but honestly, i really like how i feel and making myself stick to it...

there were so many times i almost broke down and had a glass of juice or something with sugar, or even junk food like potato chips, but i did not.

i feel for the folks who have "given" in, and it is nothing to feel bad about because this is just for us, to try it...
i figured i would simply cheat at some point and then maybe not totally break my sugar habit, but break it down so i don't eat as much when the week is over.

i cannot tell you how awful i felt tuesday night, it was so bad...but i was able to make i through, but i can see why some folks don't and that is cool too!

this is not life or death, like the first day, i thought of it like a sentence rather than a chance to try new stuff...

anyway, if you managed to read this far, thanks for letting me spew forth my view of this week so far! and my next week to come!